Sex: Passionplay/Powerplay

SEX: PASSIONPLAY/POWERPLAY

Sex is power; a power to bring new life into the world. It is so powerful that all societies attempt to control it, direct or repress its energies. It's ways are both positive and negative; unfortunately often the later are stressed: rape, child and spouse abuse, jealousy, prostitution and sex slavery, sexual conquests, erotic manipulation by advertising and the dark uncontrolled desire to enthrall us. Only in SM are many of these manifestations of negative sexuality enacted magically or parodistically in safe, consensual play.

Power has many negative connotations. It calls to mind the corruption and abuse of responsibility in political power, threats and coercion, the might and force of military power - a necessary evil. We live in a dominator, sadomasochistic and sexually immature culture. Our culture denies the wisdom of the body and has forced a schizophrenic split from mind. Power expressed is authoritarian, hierarchical; status and wealth, not necessarily merit, make a difference.

Power has its positive aspects, too: leading, healing, creating - all people need it to act and have self-confidence. It can be found and expressed in many ways. For the gay community there is power in coming out and being out and fighting homophobia to make us strong. Gays represent a hedonistic subculture immersed in a primarily erotophobic society; we find power in sexuality, open and free, and exploring new possibilities of sexual expression. There is power in freedom from jealousy and guilt related to sexuality. And there is power in accepting and integrating the opposite gender within oneself - androgyny. Fidelity and commitment to a relationship is powerful, as are nurturing and caring for others. We must not forget the great power of love. But the greatest power of all lies in gaining self-knowledge and the ability to read others - the first steps to spiritual power.

The positive nature of sexuality often lies in pleasure and play. An easy power lies in the enjoyment of pleasure and the contentment it produces afterward. Pleasure is often intertwined with the humorous, silly and joyous aspects of sexual playfulness. All humans need play to balance the harsh reality of everyday life.

Sexual desire manifests as a need to reach out, connect and communicate in intimate ways with others. It leads us out of ourselves to an expression of love. However, there are possibilities of sexuality beyond these. Sex can be used as a discipline to spiritual realization, raising consciousness and as a way of worship when two people make love or in a ritualized form of Sex Magic. These are not ways of Western Culture since its early days, and perhaps a novel conception because of purposes other than pleasure and love.

The erotic can be therapeutic, realizing negative emotions, leading to catharsis - healing the split between body and mind, giving the power of wholeness of being. Is the erotic necessarily sexual? Certainly it isn't only genitally oriented. It can be experienced in any part or all over the body. The greater part of sexual turn-ons and turn-offs are said to be in the mind, however, the body doesn't discriminate or judge the non-physical. Stimulation is either pleasurable (movement toward stimulus) or painful (withdrawal from stimulus). How or who doesn't matter to it. It is the mind which mediates these stimuli/responses and gives them meaning and rates the quality. Thus we have fetishes or other sexual/erotic games, such as SM. Many leatherfolk term erotic encounters as play.

Erotic or therapeutic bodyplay - massage, fisting, SM, bondage are ways of directing sexual energy, leading it to the part of the body where we want it to go. Tie a man down, stretched out so he can't move, then work on his cock, tease it, build his desire slowly, don't let him cum until you're ready. When he cums, keep on jacking him and he will surely scream in ecstasy and agony. You will be glad he is tied, and so will he, because the intensity of stimulation has built to such a level that pleasure has become pain, bittersweetly mingled.

In fisting the receiver gives up to ecstasy, feeling the energy rise in the anal area and spreading throughout the body. Trust and skill are needed to make the act successful. The fisting top can have ecstasy by experiencing the intense connectedness and in knowing the pleasure he/she can give - the power to invoke pleasure and alter consciousness like a virtuoso musician playing his instrument.

The benefits of play are undervalued in our culture, except for children, but play is necessary for all ages for learning, fun and relaxing/diverting the mind from mundane things. It is both serious and non-serious. For adults whose knowledge and experience, i.e., power, is greater, play can be raised to levels beyond the capability of children, and with sex added, the combination can be incredible. How much of the game "Cops and Robbers" is pre-erotic? And how many of us wish to carry it into adulthood and up the stakes? As with children's play, ours is often a very serious, structured activity involving complicated rules, but also with room for the spontaneous surprise.

In SM there is consensual powerplay - dominance and submission - one taking control and responsibility to guide and the other giving up in order to gain experience of the top and oneself. There are rules that both know will be followed. Trust and respect between partners is paramount. The situation or "scene" often involves playacting beyond the actual, physical interaction.

The most powerful aspects of sexuality are the initiation ceremonies and rituals or rites of passage in SM, shamanic training, adulthood inductions in some "primitive" cultures and the esoteric sexual yogas. The purpose is for intense experience to alter consciousness and cause profound personal meaning relating to that experience. It changes one's life.

Primitive cultures recognized the power inherent in the homosexual nature - its androgyny and ability to see beyond the bounds of social convention and tradition, its different understanding and perceptions of life - were very valuable to the life of the tribe. The majority of shamans (witch doctors) were homosexual, but little is known of sexual practice in shamanic training. Otherwise, the training often involved ritual drug use, certainly strenuous, frightening, painful and even life-threatening situations to force changes in consciousness.

In the ancient East Indian tantric yoga tradition sex is used as a tool to yoke with God and reach enlightenment - godlike perception. Pleasure, procreation or even to cum were not desirable, but considered deleterious to the purpose. Ejaculation would not conserve the energy that needs to be directed up the channels of the spinal column and out the top of the head to connect with the cosmos. This is known as the Kundalini rise. The mechanics of the act required sitting still, facing one's partner, coupled, in meditation. It is an incredibly demanding discipline requiring much prior preparation, both physical and mental.

Building sexual energy, letting it ebb and flow, withholding climax, then directing it to a purpose other than pleasure alone is Sex Magic. It is an essential aspect of SM - keeping up a sustained erotic flow. Creative energy is often of an erotic nature and fosters life. It is the root power to reform oneself or one's culture. That sexual energy is valuable and shouldn't be squandered is an ancient concept, which misunderstood, perhaps led to cultural prohibitions of free sexuality, although an abiding concern in all cultures is a responsible use of sex.

In our exploration and playing in the realms of sexuality we gay people have unleashed a powerful creative flow for remaking our culture. In our own way we bring new life into the world. We are playing a shamanic role for a culture that doesn't realize it needs us. To defend our rights and nurture those of us with AIDS we have become gentle warriors, a term coined by the late Geoff Mains, that combines both the skills of shaman and warrior. We are fighting a war to liberate minds and bodies, for the freedom to create and play.